Men like lesbian porn because they can get a boner without feeling compromised by the visuals of another man's boner.
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We have weed stories and boner stories, boner stories and weed stories, but it's not that often the two collide—unless you are Nick Jonas.
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Here's a fun little tidbit to keep in mind while watching How to Be Single: The boner in one particular scene is not an actual boner.
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And, lo and behold, last night we got boner talk.
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Here's a Wearable to Help You Get a Better Boner
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So apparently, it's normal to wake up with a boner.
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So, having a boner didn't affect your mood at all?
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We see Adam emerge up from the soil, boner first.
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"It all came down to the word 'boner,'" she said.
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Well, news flash ladies, it's not a boner, it's a bomb.
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He gets a boner, because he doesn't know what boundaries are.
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Which beat out their second choice, Operation Loyal Eagle Freedom Boner.
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You have a boner, you cry, but you can't force it back.
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Not to mention, you'll numb his cock too, meaning no more boner.
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Preferably not mid-fuck, as that would be a boner-shrinking fiasco.
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WATCH: Famously, Viagra was never intended solely as a boner-boosting drug.
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And I say that as someone with a boner for young Robert Redford.
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How do you make a complicated device less of a bulky boner-killer?
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And robotic, clinical, or demure descriptions are bound to be a boner killer.
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At a physical therapy session, Jimmy is surprised to get a spontaneous boner.
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Deceased horse boner Kenneth Pinyan, aka the infamous Mr. Hands, was also a human.
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Being massively into music and film will also give me a massive lady boner.
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He's an anime superfan, which you may find either adorable, or a boner-killer.
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"And then I look over and he has a massive boner," she told CNN.
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I'm talking about boner pills which were a sort of gateway drug, I suppose.
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Fear of death on Everest is far more important than fearing a potential boner.
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And it was a boner-free evening, at least from where I was sitting.
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I like them as well, which is a boner—I meant to say bonus.
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Someone call the boner police because I think I just witnessed a grievous bodily aphrodisiac.
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Mars was recently retrograde (major boner killer), but now it's direct and getting shit done.
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"You can call me boner, beaner, jackass, happy to answer to almost anything," he said.
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"If I get a boner for doing it, that's all [I'm waiting for]," he says.
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As it turns out, emoji-heavy sexts are a major lady-boner killer for me.
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Men who have trouble in, well, the boner department, are thought to need more yang.
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Then Rihanna and Drake showed up and gave everyone a boner, and everyone went home.
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He frantically started walking around the room telling me I was never going to have a future in this industry and no man would ever find me sexy and he should have a boner but he doesn't, he doesn't have a boner looking at me.
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Figuring out how to perfect the male boner, however, has been an area of prolific interest.
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Because we were like, 'The rest of the kids don't know, but it's called a boner.
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Even Viall himself said that watching the show is basically a game of find-the-boner.
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The first boner, masturbation session, and the messy cleanup of young men are welcome comedy tropes.
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Brian Boner, passed safely in the House, and was unanimously approved by the Senate Judiciary Committee.
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Brains can understand that trans women are women–but a boner only knows the five senses.
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I understand why—it's not like you'll often see a fully blooded boner in Hollywood cinema.
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It wasn't weird that someone's boss made a joke about having a boner in front of me.
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But the shiny Double Boner loincloth skirt that the saleswoman called "scandalous" — that I wanted to try.
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Some people buy stocks, Macklemore buys Justin Bieber -- nude with a pancake, maple syrup ... and a boner.
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Being asked to dance rather than getting a mystery boner pressed against your back in a dark club.
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Either way, when a person wakes up with a boner, there's a good chance they weren't aroused before.
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They're all available on his Etsy shop, the Bieber boner pic for the low low price of $10.
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But whether you accidentally puke, poo, or pop a boner during yoga—isn't that really what it's all about?
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"I kind of compare crying in scenes to keeping up a boner — sorry to bring it there," she said.
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My boyfriend tried to fuck the fleshlight attachment but ended up laughing so hard that he lost his boner.
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A boner needs freedom to go down of his own accord — it can't be restricted by some tight underwear.
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At that point, one of the men in this orgy starts freaking out because he's now lost his boner.
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We're boner enthusiasts and affirm plastic surgery as a choice that people should be free to make without judgment.
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The biggest surprise, though, is Andy balking at a Kimye threesome ... which he says would be a boner killer.
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All this to say that Reitano has a vested interest in people not acquiring boner pills from dubious sources.
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He discovers a guiding spirit in the legacy of Alice Boner, a Swiss artist who made India her home.
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"One night I found Jasper licking his crotch and he had his first boner," one happy father told me.
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Cena, 42, admitted on Watch What Happens Live Monday night that he's gotten an "accidental boner" while mid-wrestling match.
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Except the broken boner fix isn't ever going to be found in getting yet another woman to strip and splay.
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Men who consume too much weed might also suffer from a case of "Stoner Boner"—a waning erection, Tishler says.
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Not many people know this but Kesha actually filled in on boner-joke duty while Blink-182 were on hiatus.
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"I thought people would come into the class and just like, get a boner from it," Ana told me afterwards.
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These characters are fixtures in baseball history, all the way back to Fred Merkle and his immortal boner in 1908.
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And for the next several days—though not quite 11—every boner I had seemed significantly more intense than normal.
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Bonus point: Once you've done enough coke, you might get a boner so solid and so persistent that it hospitalizes you.
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" An arithmetic error on the second page of Sheldon's paper invalidates his whole theory, Hawking explains: "It was quite the boner.
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But the final piece of the puzzle -- proving the provenance of a particular piece of wood -- will fall to Markus Boner.
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Trying to remember anything that happens in this movie and only coming up with that scene where he gets a huge boner.
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"You can call me boner, beaner, jackass, happy to answer to almost anything," Boehner told the crowd, according to The Stanford Daily.
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Positively reinforce what you like through compliments, rather than saying what don't like, which is a boner killer, regardless of your gender.
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Yes, I fell for it too, but I saw Kendall get that sad, humanizing boner on his ex-wife's leg last season!
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We got "Machete" himself out Tuesday night in Hollywood and just had to ask him about getting in the weak boner game.
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" She recommends staying in foreplay for as long as possible to build arousal slowly and to achieve what she calls a "lady boner.
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Time after time I was complimented by my matches on my solid sentence structure — the ultimate boner-killer, if I could get boners.
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Honestly it wouldn't surprise me if an alien with a boner for minimalist teutonic techno and post punk made this, it's that weird.
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But it does, and it's clouding my Twitter timeline, which I like to save for breaking boner jam updates about the Mueller investigation.
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Check out the clip for his financial analysis of Bieber's pancake boner ... and the REAL reason he bought it in the first place.
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It's the same effect as ASMR eating videos, and, in the same vein, it's unclear why it gives so many people a brain-boner.
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It made a lot of sense, and I wondered if I'd ever had a clit boner that was, in fact, just a pee stiffy.
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Because it's like, first I have to get a boner, then I have to set up lighting, then I have to take a picture?
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If you're not charmed by him saying goodbye to his cat through a door just after taking a boner pill, you have no soul.
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" â€" kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) April 22016, 27 217yo watching Louis CK SNL monologue LOUIS: I wish I could get a boner for an old lady.
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" Then there were tweets like this, which may just exist to upset me: "Anyone else got a boner warning when they saw the #Venom trailer?
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Nobody wants to walk around like they've got a boner when it in reality it's just their long wireless earbuds case in their pants pocket.
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You can even throw in some Etsy-inspired typewritten catalog cards — by all means, do whatever it takes to give yourself a firm design boner.
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And high-risk research doesn't make a good business case when you're raking in an easy $1.6 billion per year on stuff like boner pills.
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In their eyes, walking around with a boner ought to be no big deal, so long as no one is a total creep about it.
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The public's collective boner for the rise-and-fall-and-rise-again arc of child stars like Culkin made us newsworthy to blogs and tabloids.
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But when you're called a "fucking retard," well, it's a boner killer at best, almost guaranteed to bring on a lengthy drought between the legs.
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Taken recreationally, however, the only counsel you receive may be from a buddy recounting the tale of his indomitable boner during an epic sex session.
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And of course the whole thing is loaded with ads that look like articles—boner enhancement, horny babez in your area, baldness cures, and so on.
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Unlike cuddle parties where you'll pay $45 to be spooned by a stranger ineptly concealing his boner, Mann wanted to bring free affection to the masses.
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This meant that text posts were rare, and when someone actually wrote one — like asking about oatmeal recipes — Facebook's algorithm got a massive boner for it.
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Can the guy who got a boner while watching two dogs fuck each other please get in touch, I have further questions for him as well?
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He'll have to spend three days in the hospital after the mechanics are fired up and then will have a boner for about two weeks. Yikes.
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By most accounts, the miraculous boner-inducing pill does not taste good, but the popular erectile dysfunction drug Viagra isn't really prescribed for its flavor profile.
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" O'Reilly: "Bill O'Reilly, who scientists hypothesize is kind of a dent nebula of boner and racism, has been paying out settlements for alleged harassment for years.
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Any attempt to scrutinise the perfect presentation of her body would have been boner-killing as it often didn't amount to much other than a fart.
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But this literal boner-killer for the damselflies is now a boon to paleontologists, as the amber preserved a stunning tableau of their bygone mating routine.
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A boisterous, bobbing boner could be taken as a sign of unwanted sexual attention, or the result of sexualized gawking that could make others feel uncomfortable.
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And there's always Skeezy Boner Guy, poking up on you with his shlong while you're just trying to wild out to some Rezz in the Sahara.
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The city offers so many culinary gems that it's impossible for even the most discerning of gourmands to walk around the city without a raging food boner.
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How many times has someone approached you on a night out to ask "are you having a good time?" and it not fully killed your party boner.
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She showed me a slideshow: a photoshopped photo of Tom Cruise with a huge boner, a fake nude photo of Jonathan Taylor Thomas, even one of Hunter.
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Though I remain resistant to the trappings of monogamy on a philosophical level, I'm happy to be down to one girlfriend, no boner pills, and zero decongestant.
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And there's a deeper problem than the fact that these apps present consent as a total boner killer: there's no real reason to believe they actually work.
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Just a nice little reminder that whenever you allegedly text a photo of your penis to someone, you can't ever put that particular boner back behind the zipper.
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That one is not going on either, and I'm standing there with a boner in one hand, unrolled condom in the other muttering apologies and feeling absolutely ridiculous.
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Sure, it doesn't sound like high octane boner fuel, but it's as important to a youthful erection as it is every other bodily function you can think of.
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In my own experience however, it's uncomfortable, awkward, anticlimactic in both the literal and figurative sense and because of all that, liable to provoke boner-wilting performance anxiety.
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They played mostly very loud rap, and my somm friend had recently been waived corkage when he brought in a bottle of Raveneau (an expensive, somm-boner Chablis).
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Mr. Collins, his Latin teacher, had taught him, and after an hour of practice Michael had the knot mastered along with a boner-size bruise on his backside.
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Although several companies conduct this type of analysis on food, Boner claims that the business he founded, Agroisolab, is one of the only companies using it on timber.
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For instance, within a couple songs of "Unsatisfied," a very heart-on-your-sleeve, sincerely written, emotionally honest song, you've got a KISS cover, and "Gary's Got A Boner".
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" Spinner: "I did a lot of dumb stuff — I got a boner in class, I kind of cheated on you (Paige), kind of got my best friend (Jimmy) shot.
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"I've got a culinary boner just walking around this place," said Jamie Bissonette as he cradled an assortment of winter vegetables in the middle of the MUNCHIES rooftop garden.
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Boner believes that if law enforcement authorities can use World Forest ID to identify illegal loggers, then the threat of prosecution will prompt the industry to regulate from within.
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If you are a human with a penis, you probably also have at least one anecdote about getting an inappropriate boner and trying to style it out, but failing spectacularly.
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Nick Jonas, the guy who got a massive boner on the red carpet because he'd eaten a weed lollypop, and then told everybody about it, on TV, with photographic evidence.
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For example, I was just going through approval for a new show that I just directed to get a man's boner, an erect penis, having a condom put on it.
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The anti-immigration One Nation party leader has already been grilled on national television over whether or not she has a boner for Trump, which she awkwardly denied amidst giggles.
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Just like us helping cover boner pills for the old guys who think women should pop out babies alone on the kitchen floor, and then get up and make dinner.
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Hammer ultimately decided that the kiss (no tongue, soft lips) was better, to which Cohen had an essential follow-up question: Did he get a boner while filming the scene?
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This is already nearly impossible, but when you throw in that the silicone is cold and the room is hot, it takes an Olympian to keep a boner that long.
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Spoiler: there's a lot of stuff about how you shouldn't send a sweaty, grainy photo of your turgid boner, the skin pulled back to the base to emphasise the length.
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He's played a variety of roles for the company since then, and somehow keeps ending up playing characters that involve poking his boner through the most unsexy full-body costumes.
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Paired with a Dance Dance Revolution-styled smartphone game, it's the male equivalent of the Elvie "video game for your vagina": a wearable to help give you a better boner.
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Arguably, the death watch has been great publicity for the company, keeping it fresh in the minds of moviegoers every time it makes a desperate change or really pulls a boner.
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I did as he directed and sure enough, 2149 mg of Viagra produced a wickedly hard boner that hung around for hours, regardless of whether I was turned on or not.
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No longer must he fear the consequences of an errant boner or take cold showers to avoid leveling a city block — Bruce's heart rate is stable and he's overdue for lovin'.
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"PDE5 inhibitors may result in a raging boner but at the same time, it's dilating all the blood vessels in your body," says Seth Cohen, a urologist at NYU's Langone Health.
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Trejo's not alone, though ... the ad features some other stars you probably wouldn't guess would appear to push the boner product -- from a model and world class athlete to a 'Housewife.'
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Well, I have never had a meaningful exchange with anyone that started with a selfie, so keep your social media boner tucked squarely between your stomach and the waistband of your pants.
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You may have observed, especially if you live in a fairly progressive city, that the wellness industry has a raging boner for CBD, one of the core non-inebriating compounds in cannabis.
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But, in that exact moment, his teacher calls him up to the board, and he's forced to walk passed his snickering classmates and his crush, who can all see his adolescent boner.
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"Chip" tried to tell me my swollen, bleeding eyes weren't that bad, but something (the rock-hard boner in his hand?) made me believe he had interests in mind that weren't my own.
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The spider, a relative of Daddy Long Legs, and his boner, were found encased in Burmese amber in Myanmar, according to a study, which was published in The Science of Nature on Thursday.
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But it turns out that the boner-killing power of smartphones isn't the only reason to be wary of internet-enabled vibrators: There's also the fact that they pose a genuine security risk.
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" Bernstein's conflation of Vietnam and Iraq is made graphic in "Union Jack-Off" and the two paintings from 2015 that reprise its imagery, "Star Spangled Boner" and the title work, "Dicks of Death.
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While few people will shed a tear over some low-rent boner pill manufacturer losing some ad money, it's just a simple fact that advertising is the economy that keeps the web running.
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That's hard to do for me, so the trick usually works—but the strange thing is that now when I have to do some simple math I sometimes get a bit of a boner.
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The idea that anyone has had to fight back a boner in class or fantasized about a girl before falling asleep fascinated and inspired me, in part the same way boyhood did for Fuckboy.
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Also discussed in this episode: Drake's first freestyle, "Shut Up Girl and Make My Lunch": Drake's boner: And, of course, how Drake ended up in the wheelchair: Listen below and subscribe on Apple Podcasts.
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"It is the irony of history that the most obvious things are the least discussed," Patrick Boner, a visiting scholar at the Catholic University of America, who has written a book about Kepler's astrology, said.
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The part that's analogous to a surprise boner is the fact that I woke up in my bed and not on a subway platform, leading me to suspect that Flyby may have prevented alcohol poisoning.
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When a friend of hers was unhappy with the submarine tattoo he had on his boner (because it's full of semen, get it?) she offered to remove it for free and posted the session on YouTube.
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This type of performative leftism is red meat for, among others, the disingenuous right, whose worldview and ability to sell gold and boner pills to old people collapses unless it can portray all activism as performative.
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While the internet is in no short supply of libido-enhancing, erectile dysfunction-fixing, and pelvic floor-strengthening remedies, none has quite the comically absurd allure as the boner-boosting boxer briefs designed by Vylyv Labs.
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The secret, according to Kazdin, is to not deviate whatsoever from the original recipe, because nothing gives a man a boner like a woman who obsessively adheres to a recipe in fears of not getting laid.
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" In court documents, Frost-Winn provided various incidents as well as screenshots of text messages between the pair, with one of the exchanges from Tinsley stating: "You're such boner material and I want you at your best.
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If you sleep in the same bed as someone with a penis, your partner's boner poking you in the back in the morning is like a natural alarm clock: inevitable, not always welcome, and hard to snooze.
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As of Monday afternoon, Stormzy only led Raging Boner Man (sorry) by around 2000 copies, so it is very important that you go and listen to Gang Signs & Prayer on your streaming service of choice right now.
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But there's also the possibility that the titles "Star Spangled Boner" and "Dicks of Death" are puns on the names of John Boehner and Dick Cheney, a calling-out of the incompetent and malevolent in political life.
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On the site for Viagra, Pfizer warns that it's "one of the most counterfeited drugs in the world," which seems plausible to anyone who's ever waded through the quagmire of boner pill solicitations in their spam folder.
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The Various Snakes I think most people would agree that the hottest thing about Solid Snake—or Naked, or Venom, or... all the other Snakes—(other than his name being a euphemism for a boner) is his voice.
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" Adding the line, "what's a boy to do when D A D D Y L O V E S H I M S O." Adding the purposely misspelled meme-ish line, "got his frist boner today goog job.
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Despite this, when someone makes fun of how his employee Phyllis looks, he attempts to make her feel better by giving her a quick kiss on the cheek and telling her he's now worried about getting a boner.
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But as some nudist publications acknowledge, for many men, one of their most visceral concerns about getting involved in these mostly wholesome, sometimes family friendly spaces is what to do if they suddenly pop a big ol' boner.
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There is a kitschy velvet painting of a bald eagle, an oil painting of Drake dancing and a transfixing rendition of a naked Justin Bieber with maple syrup pouring down his chest onto a pancake balanced on his boner.
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Something I like to imagine, because I'm immature, is how the first guy who ever tested Viagra must have reacted once he realized a supplement he took to lower his blood pressure actually gave him a four-hour boner.
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Earlier Zach likened to a sluggish morning wood to a "check engine" light, leading me to wonder how sending out boner pills wasn't analogous to giving guys a piece of duct tape over the top of that call-to-action.
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The founders and other employees are accused of speaking "sexually" about female employees right to their face, and one employee would, allegedly, talk about having "a boner" and going to the bathroom to "rub one out" in order to maintain focus.
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While there are certainly political forces behind these automated bots looking to promote love for the Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed Bin Salman and his regime, there are other significant forces just looking to hawk their boner pills and weight loss supplements.
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Everyone sleeps and gets boners, it happens, but these are made so that you can't get a boner, so you wake up and have to figure out a way to get it to go down and then go from there.
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After absorbing the studies Reitano referred me to, I told my uninsured friend that he—and I—have been playing Russian Roulette with illegally sourced boner meds that we didn't even need but used in a pinch or simply for funsies.
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But a book isn't as easily-consumable as a blog post, and telling the honest history of a decades-old musical culture is a lot different from talking about how it feels to be a boner-plagued 16-year-old.
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So much so, in fact, that it's taking a Hong Kong-based advertising company to court over allegations that for three years it ran an elaborate ad-fraud scheme pushing everything from counterfeit goods to boner pills on unsuspecting users.
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It was Rogue from behind wearing way more clothing, looking like a normal teenage girl, and Sauron was coming out of darkness toward her... I'd robbed this creep of his boner, and that's the real satisfaction that a cartoonist should feel.
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The film flaunts plenty of flatulence jokes and boner humor, but its becomes clear the puerile gags are actually a feint to lighten the movie's existential angst about death, the nature of existence, and the need to make a connection with another person.
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Or, if you have a penis and experience erectile dysfunction, Planned Parenthood says that female condoms are a good option, since you don't need to be erect to use one (unlike male condoms, which slip off if a boner begins to fade).
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From a brown-skinned, purple-haired animated narrator featured in "Talking Sexual Orientation With Jane" to a red-haired, fair-skinned, pimply boy wracked by puberty in "How the Boner Grows," characters of all skin colors, body types, and creeds populate the videos.
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Schulte was pretty bad in '24, and given how many Cubs were not at their best one begins to see how they needed umpire Hank O'Day's dubious call in the Fred Merkle "boner" game to edge the New York Giants for the pennant.
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Yes, Toby is having lots of mildly kinky sex — mostly with women his own age, because younger women depress him — and he does indeed consider his ex-wife Rachel to be a crazy boner-killing shrew who won't even mother their children properly.
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I like to believe that the world-renowned verse from Next's "Too Close"—"Oh, you're dancing real close, you're making it hard for me"—is less about a raging boner, and more about a group of dancers circling closer and closer into your personal space.
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Here's a bit of gender equality news for you: Just like Viagra has been known to show up in bodega boner pills for men, the prescription female libido drug Addyi has now been snuck into "natural" sexual desire supplements for women for the first time.
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I went to Catholic grade school and we had these roller skating parties, like dances, that started in 7th or 8th grade, which is around the same time boys started getting erections so it was sort of awkwardly… ...Everyone roller skating with a boner?
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That night I went to bed—and I didn't have a boner because I was 10 years old and, you know, we don't get many boners at that age—and I got into bed, made a fist and started hitting my flaccid penis with my closed hand.
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While it grows abundantly throughout New Zealand as well as other areas, a sexy lichen scraped right off that sexy pavement will also apparently be high in a whole bunch of stuff that will do absolutely nothing for your struggling boner, including lead, arsenic, mercury and zinc.
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You're right for thinking that a stretched flaccid penis has limited utility, but in studies, stretched flaccid length is often used as an approximation of erect penis length—maybe because mustering up a boner so your urologist can measure it is as tricky as you might think.
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Despite the choice reading material on offer, 53 percent of volunteers were unable to scare up a serviceable boner and, even those who did may have seen their true maximum engorgement impinged by the sheer volume of tequila and Corona-Light sloshing around their sunburned bodies.
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Old Fashioneds taste good, I guess, but get fucking real dude, there's a time and a place and pontificating over the rye choice in your drink while subsequently discussing your collection of dusty forays into the annals of Stitzel-Wellers' back catalogue is a real boner-shrinker.
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Watch more from Motherboard: Scrotum Frog Boner Juice Analog and vintage pornography also offer a certain nostalgic appeal for people who started getting off in the era before PornHub, according to Carol Queen, a staff sexologist—someone who scientifically studies human sexuality—at San Francisco sex store Good Vibrations.
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She started to get grief for the sculpture at the entrance to the museum—a huge Marino Marini figure of a naked man on horseback with a huge boner—so the penis was made detachable in order to unscrew it when cardinals and other puritans came to look round.
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Another time, when my group of friends were getting ready to go to a house party, this guy Marcus had a boner and kept getting his dick out and casually asking questions like "need some ice?" or "I'm thirsty" just with his dick hanging out of his fly.
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She took the two men to task for everything from Bush's following Trump's lead on the "boner bus" to Trump's stiff and unnatural apology to Trump's history of telling people that he doesn't like to make apologies, and, zooming out a bit, to Trump's general inability to craft coherent policies.
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Not to be a total boner killer, but other STDs can also spread from genitals to mouth, like chlamydia ("pharyngeal chlamydia," if you want to be precise) and HPV (which you may remember from the time Michael Douglas' blamed his throat cancer on his affinity for going down on his wife).
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Many of us still assume that exploring rape or incest porn indicates a desire to engage in those activities IRL, that an enjoyment of eroticized cartoon characters reveals an unresolved childhood issue, and that being into Bigfoot's boner means that, well, you're a bestial freak who deserves to be mocked.
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A handful of the images arguably leaned a bit sexual in nature—like a shirtless actor, a topless woman (whose boobs are completely covered by her arms) sucking on a strawberry, and a screenshot of an Instagram explore video of what appears to be a boner beneath some dude's swim trunks.
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Most of his posts are teases, a jumble of soft erotica—an image of him lying in bed, his butt visible; a short clip shot from behind as he walks fully nude onto a sun-soaked balcony in Rome; a Boomerang-style video of a morning boner visible through his underwear.
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In an interview earlier this year, members of a queer no wave wrecking crew called Gay Cum Daddies listed off a few of the other projects they're involved with, including, but not limited to, Avery Boner & the Blonde Dicks, Baby Blood, Bukkake Moms, and the Bozo Big Shit Garbage Band.
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One of the best parts about the NHL being so poorly run and screwing up so many things—lockouts, expansion team name reveals, lockouts, marketing, a remodeled website far less functional than its previous incarnation, a bad TV deal with NBC, lockouts—is that there's fairly obvious boner we overlook every day.
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Then, there's the Richmond, VA-based band's updated take on the glory days of 90s death metal, which adds technical know-how and polish to the spirit of the classic albums that emerged from Tampa's Morrisound Studio and Roadrunner Records (the un-fuck-with-able ground zero dyad of the sweatpants boner set).
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It is, for all intents and purposes, the most archetypal and memorable image of Drake in existence, surpassing such iconic renderings as 'Drake crouching in Timberlands in a softly lit cube', 'Drake concealing the boner gifted to him by Nicki Minaj in the "Anaconda" video', and even 'Drake cosplaying George Costanza at a basketball game'.
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The answer, should you try to find it yourself, seems to be smeared all over the Internet in the form of "this is your brain on porn"–style headlines: Porn is bad for your brain, porn kills your friendships and your boner, porn overloads your frontal lobe with heady rushes of pleasure-jolting dopamine.
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The truth is, in an age where every facet of experience has been injected with an invasive irony-serum, the very idea of finding emotional solace in a record featuring songs called "Why Don't You Boogie," and "I'm a Dancer," sung by a bloke who's boner featured in titles like Captain Lust, is senseless.
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The list includes steroids, weight-loss and muscle-building supplements, and a truly awe-inspiring roster of boner pills, and while we can assume that there are things wrong with them, credit where it's due—these guys might be selling Jolly Rancher extract, aluminum shavings, and "carp solids" as a weight-loss method, but they did name them well.
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In the spam folder—a heinous vacuum of all-caps boner pill offers and personal messages from the directors of Citibank and the International Monetary Fund politely letting me know of the million-dollar bank transfers that awaited me if I'd just take a second to follow a link and provide some "personal information,"—was an email that didn't belong.
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He maintains that the erections he sports while taking it are fuller, harder, and more long lasting than the ones he produces naturally and help overcome a slew of obstacles that can bedevil his boner including too much booze, cocaine, performance anxiety, and the fact that he's long past the days when a stiff breeze would be enough to provoke a thumping erection.
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Since there is no equivalent to an emergency contraception–type pill to get rid of the unwanted burden that is the memory of the past 365 days (although we did come up with a fake one in the video above), here are a few rules to make it through the next phase of this brave new world, in which a guy who once spelled "honor" like "boner" and briefly had a beef with the pope will be the leader of the free world.
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Since 1979, the show has depicted teens going through trials and tribulations ranging from murder, suicide, teen pregnancies, AIDS, and a pre-rap-superstardom Drake making the following face while getting a boner: Still, the new season of Degrassi—whose first ten episodes were released to Netflix last Friday—feels like an outlier in the bold landscape of teen TV. Showcasing a new cohort of students at Degrassi High, Degrassi: Next Class is the show's newest rebrand, this time as a more realistic alternative to the competition.
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But if Virtual Immersion Technologies is anything like TZU Technologies (holder of the aforementioned, and somewhat infamous, teledildonics patent, which has been responsible for more litigation than innovation), the current lawsuit could be just the beginning—and that could be a serious boner killer for anyone with fantasies of living out their fantasies in beautiful, immersive VR. Last year, TZU Technologies went on a bit of a rampage, suing a number of companies it considered to be in violation of its patent (and killing at least one off in the process).
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