If you get tired of fruitcake, here's your cooking project.
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How about "a fruitcake ashtray that makes me hate myself"?
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True, Christmas might have those sparkly trees, ornaments and fruitcake.
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He wanted me to have a particular brand of fruitcake.
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January, February and March came and went with no fruitcake.
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More fun to talk about than your aunt's fruitcake recipe?
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Fruitcake already has a reputation for lasting a questionably long time.
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Fruitcake soaked in whiskey is a traditional Christmas dessert in Kentucky.
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Her mother baked fruitcake every Christmas that my ex thought was delicious.
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I refused to try it on the principle that fruitcake is gross.
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Thankfully, the local bomb squad found only fruitcake inside the wrapped box.
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The fruitcake has long been the annoying friend of the Christmas world.
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The first week of December passed with no sign of his fruitcake.
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On the other hand, if it's a fruitcake, you're fooling no one.
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But why did the explorers haul a fruitcake to the South Pole?
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There were other problems with the relationship but fruitcake was the final straw.
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Apparently, they could have used the fruitcake they left behind at Cape Adare.
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"Or crumble the fruitcake, mix with frosting, and shape into truffles," he says.
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Fruitcake is known around the world as the laughingstock of Christmas culinary traditions.
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Others are dense and fruitcake-like, filled with dried candied fruits and spices.
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Can the definition of American baking really be limited to fruitcake and gingerbread?
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We're talking stale panettone, crushed or burnt cookies and, of course, the dreaded fruitcake.
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Oh, the juicy fruit of even an ephemeral fling with our fruitcake in chief.
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Mosal's white fruitcake — to tell the stories of the patriarchy, class, tradition and race.
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With all the popularity of a Christmas fruitcake, withholding this gift provided no leverage.
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The creation is fruitcake topped with three icings as well as a net and rackets.
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Would they follow in Prince William and Kate Middleton's footsteps and serve a massive fruitcake?
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For their wedding cake, Ann's grandmother made them a fruitcake, which was a family tradition.
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Camus's partner arrived in the study with a silver platter, and offered fruitcake and coffee.
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"Finding such a perfectly preserved fruitcake among them was quite a surprise," Ms. Meek said.
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Its fruitcake Frappuccino will be available starting Thursday through the weekend at U.S. and Canada locations.
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A few years ago my father arranged to send me a mail-order fruitcake at Christmastime.
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I sat down and ate the slice slowly, the only way one can eat fruitcake, really.
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After finishing every speck, I wondered about the fruitcake my father had ordered so long ago.
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Think of extenders as sort of like that holiday fruitcake your aunt sends you every year.
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To the general American palate, though, even the freshest fruitcake would rank as only "almost" edible.
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So for gift-givers looking to put some twinkle in Mr. Trump's holiday, skip the fruitcake.
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The coffee giant is out with a new spin on a holiday gift closet staple: the fruitcake.
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Explorers of the Antarctic, devourers of fruitcake: the five members of Scott's ill-fated Terra Nova expedition.
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But I'm not sorry that I grew up on this rich fruitcake diet of feeling and moralizing.
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A guy got his stolen fruitcake back from the police — his mother had made it from scratch.
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Is she then, as Cameron once said of UKIP supporters, a "fruitcake", or a racist or a bigot?
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But I was finally able to make the case to the voters that they had the wrong fruitcake.
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Honey cake is to Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year, as fruitcake is to Christmas, a routine necessity.
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Huffkins makes their own shortbread and clotted fudge cream, and they claim to make fruitcake for the Queen.
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The fruitcake likely dates to the Terra Nova expedition of 1910-1913, led by British explorer Robert Falcon Scott.
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Because like fruitcake and ugly sweaters, some holiday traditions are only entertaining if you're in on the joke already.
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Front Burner In the hands of Alessandra Altieri Lopez of Bouchon Bakery, the confection rises above its fruitcake reputation.
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In some ways, my father's character resembled a fruitcake: whimsy and a little nuttiness mixed with a sweet foundation.
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The key is to follow what I call the Fruitcake Principle: If you don't value it, don't regift it.
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But like your Aunt Frieda threatening not to bring her awful fruitcake to Christmas Dinner, their plan didn't work.
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His column (including one about a dreaded Christmas fruitcake) appeared in The Times and other newspapers for 36 years.
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There aren't many Jews left in Kolkata — as few as nine, according to the Jerusalem Post — but the shop's current owner, Isaac Nahoum, continues to sell challah as well as a famous Christmas fruitcake, which the former the archbishop of Canterbury, Geoffrey Fisher, said was the best fruitcake he had ever eaten.
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This weekend only, Starbucks is offering a new festive treat for all the Frap lovers out there: a Fruitcake Frappuccino.
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The handmade willow baskets are stocked with edible treats like Christmas fruitcake, shortbread biscuits and the brand's famous Christmas pudding.
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" An old guy with a mean red face and a Teamster's haircut scowled and said something that sounded like "Fruitcake.
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For the season, syrups in holiday flavors, like candy cane, eggnog, fruitcake, cranberry cocktail and pumpkin spice are sold separately.
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Ensconced in the freezer compartment of my parents' refrigerator is the customary fruitcake from my wedding in England in 1982.
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"We had to come all the way to space to get away from fruitcake but it didn't work," said Koch.
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The dark fruitcake is certainly a departure from the whimsical wedding desserts that are popular these days — and Ann knows that.
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Forget fruitcake and distant relatives' awkward questions about your relationship status — the worst part of the holidays is traveling, hands down.
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I cobble together a recipe from the Capote text and a book of fruitcake recipes written by Marie Rudisill, his aunt.
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It all looked very realistic — my stomach can attest to that — but Bradley says the excrement was actually made of fruitcake.
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His sense of humor never wavered, and as time went on he would bring up the perpetual journey of his fruitcake.
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The fruitcake before me was crowned with candied cherries, caramelized pecans and chunks of pineapple that had been dyed emerald green.
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Ms. Markle and Prince Harry went a very different direction with sponge cake, skipping the traditional, no-expiration-date English fruitcake.
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The boxed fruitcake lines grocery stores around the world but is deeply rooted in Milanese folklore dating to the Middle Ages.
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The princess is reportedly breaking royal tradition and cutting into red velvet cake at her reception (usually fruitcake is the go-to).
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Thursday through Sunday, participating locations will debut the Fruitcake Frappuccino — taking the polarizing holiday dessert and turning it into a frozen beverage.
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But in Kentucky, you'd be lucky to get your hands on the famous fruitcake made by monks of the Abbey of Gethsemani.
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Rubio is essentially the Christmas fruitcake of the 2016 cycle: presented as a gift, received as something neither appetizing nor especially nutritive.
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The boxed fruitcake lines grocery stores around the world but is deeply rooted in Milanese folklore dating back to the Middle Ages.
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" Ms. Meek explained to National Geographic: "Fruitcake was a popular item in English society at the time, and it remains popular today.
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If you attacked him with self-rising flour, two eggs, and a handful of raisins, you could turn him into a fruitcake.
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I think that the reason people are prejudiced against fruitcake is because they have, sadly, only ever eaten fruitcakes that are horribly dry.
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He remained hopeful the fruitcake would come by New Year's Eve, when I'd be back in Midtown Manhattan, humanity roaring from Times Square.
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The fruitcake is encased in a tin of "poor condition," but the cake looked and "smelt (almost) edible," according to the Trust's statement online.
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Fruitcake is supposed to sit for weeks and be plied with booze, but in the morning we cut into one of them to sample.
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The culinary jumble of jeweled fruits suggested an extravagance that belied its practicality: Fruitcake can fill your belly and has a long shelf life.
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Though my father continued to ask about it, I never once considered lying and telling him yes, the fruitcake finally arrived and was delicious.
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While most royals like Kate Middleton and Prince William opt for a traditional fruitcake, Eugenie and Brooksbank went with a red velvet and chocolate cake.
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The cake is seen as one of the ways Prince Harry and Markle have broken with tradition, as British weddings will typically serve a fruitcake.
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Made in Texas, it was famous among fruitcake lovers — or, at least, among people who gave fruitcakes to those who were assumed to love them.
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The fruitcake-y beverage is then finished off with a topping of whipped cream that's been dotted with caramel and sprinkled with a dusting of matcha.
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The famously long-lasting snack cake is a hall-of-famer in the food longevity category, alongside other notables like McDonald's, Taco Bell, and Australian fruitcake.
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The traffic reported confessed that she really just wanted to buy a fruitcake from Safeway because she's too busy to cook and it's her favorite holiday treat.
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This man has a slice of a 36-year-old fruitcake, but he's held onto it for an interesting reason — it was from Princess Diana's wedding cake.
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Each style bears the website's logo juxtaposed with vintage food photos: one is of a fruitcake, and the other is of a pair of hands holding silverware.
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In August, a fruitcake was unearthed in Antarctica, apparently abandoned by the British explorer Robert Falcon Scott in 1911 (who starved to death on a later expedition).
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And just in time for Easter, this decorated Simnel cake consisting of almond paste sandwiched between two layers of fruitcake is just about the most British dessert ever.
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The soon-to-be-wed couple chose a lemon elderflower cake to serve at their wedding reception, a break from the traditional fruitcake typically served at British weddings.
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Hoatson considers his prized possession a sliver of fruitcake in its original box from the wedding day, which he acquired in 2004 from an auction house for $300.
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Less respectably, he spent several years preying on the gullibility of one of France's richest women, the Marquise d'Urfé, who was an occultist fruitcake of the first water.
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Take the German Striezelmarkt in Dresden, below, where people feast on a four-ton "Fruitcake Maiden" after carrying her through the streets in a tradition dating back to 1434.
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It can't be expected to have a sense of humor as well—and as for the light touch of fantasy, it weighs like a pound of fruitcake soaking wet.
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Other common holiday emergencies involve accidental poisonings from say, boxed chocolates left under the tree, raisins in fruitcake dug out from the trash, or poinsettias and mistletoe decorating the house.
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Image: Antarctic Heritage TrustConservators with Antarctic Heritage Trust have uncovered a perfectly preserved fruitcake that dates back to Robert Falcon Scott's ill-fated Terra Nova expedition, which began in 1910.
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Check out the below video to see how the term has been overused, and misused, to attack everything from the New York Times to fruitcake, to the point of meaninglessness.
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But you better snag a taste before they disappear on December 18 — and let us know in the comments whether you love or hate fruitcake, because there's really nothing in between.
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Lizzie Meek, artifacts programme manager at the Trust, said it was "quite a surprise" to find the fruitcake, which sat among the last handful of corroded tins set to be restored.
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The news that, after 106 years, Captain Scott's fruitcake was found by the Antarctic Heritage Trust and "smelled edible", raises the question: are there other foods that have similar staying power?
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Also known as Twelfth Night cake, this fruitcake made with dried fruits, nuts, and spices, which is often soaked in bourbon (after all, this is Kentucky), is a popular Christmas delicacy.
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Behind the (Christmas) music Christmas is less than three weeks away, and that means presents, eggnog, family movies and, for those of us not snoring from too much fruitcake, Christmas caroling.
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Yet as pretty as the hometown of Goethe and Schiller is, there's something stifling about Weimar's cobblestone Old Town, with its faux-medieval terrace restaurants full of retirees contentedly eating fruitcake.
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Keeping everything contained between two covers risks compressing the historical sprawl into one of those dense slabs more suitable for gift-giving than reading — the print equivalent of a holiday fruitcake.
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In my kitchen, I opened the box with a bread knife, and there it was: a decorative tin holding the fruitcake my father had wanted me to taste several years earlier.
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He called another a "fruitcake," accused another of having several children out of wedlock and denounced still another as a "whore for the insurance industry," a remark for which he apologized.
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The news that, after 73 years, Captain Scott's fruitcake was found by the Antarctic Heritage Trust and "smelled edible", raises the question: are there other foods that have similar staying power?
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Its timing comes just a day before National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day on Friday, when the company's loyalty members will receive an ugly sweater beverage cozy if they buy the fruitcake drink.
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Manufactured by the now defunct Huntley & Palmers biscuit company, the fruitcake was discovered in a long-abandoned hut at Cape Adare—an important landing site and base camp used by early Antarctic explorers.
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Americans might be more used to the idea of fruitcake closer to Christmas, but the white icing and vivid Union Jack butterfly decoration applied to this specimen make it look perfect for spring.
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It's a follow-up to their fruitcake mix of currants, raisins, dates, pineapple and cranberries, but it's better with the citrus peels: King Arthur Flour Yuletide Cheer Fruit Blend, eight ounces, $12.95, kingarthurflour.com.
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"It's always been a tradition and that's why the cake was fruitcake, because after 30 months it's even more delicious," Fiona Cairns, who created Prince William and Kate Middleton's eight-tier cake, told Hello!
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Though much about their big day is still under wraps, we do know the couple opted out of the traditional fruitcake served at royal weddings and decided to serve a lemon elderflower cake instead.
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They are a celebration of spring and good harvest, made by mothers' caring hands with love and given out to family and friends to enjoy — like fruitcake at Christmas, except deung are actually eaten.
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Living and working in Antarctica tends to lead to a craving for high-fat, high-sugar food, and fruitcake fits the bill nicely, not to mention going very well with a cup of tea.
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No sci-fi-adjacent movie has ever benefitted more from an '80s greaser aesthetic, Harry Dean Stanton, a company called United Fruitcake Outlet, Emilio Estevez wearing a single earring, and a theme song by Iggy Pop.
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The holidays are coming — a time for community, a time to let time meander, to have long conversations; a time to eat rum-doused fruitcake, laugh, kick back, and to heck with the president's next tweet.
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There are certain traditions that people come to expect during the year — green beer on St. Patrick's Day, fruitcake on Christmas, and a very anxiety-inducing two-on-one date on both The Bachelorette and The Bachelor.
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The holiday drink consists of a hazelnut crème Frappuccino with dried fruit and cinnamon, topped with whipped cream, caramel, and matcha in the company's spin on the fruitcake, a holiday gift that's faced derision over the years.
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Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna can have a five-alarm relationship meltdown over social media; President Obama can get pranked by creepy snowmen; you can miss out on (or purposely avoid) the two-day-only Fruitcake Frappuccino.
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John Hoatson of Fort Lauderdale has a collection of royal memorabilia, though he says his favorite piece is a leftover slice of fruitcake from Princess Diana's 1981 wedding, which he remembers watching on television as a child.
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Upon further inspection, the K-9 team and bomb squad discovered that the wrapped present from an unknown secret Santa was not an explosive device, but rather the most reviled holiday confection known to mankind—a fruitcake.
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In one of the most hostile regions known to humankind, conservationists unearthed an ice-covered fruitcake they believe once belonged to the British explorer Robert Falcon Scott, the New Zealand-based Antarctic Heritage Trust said this past week.
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Singing cats, singing founding fathers, singing teapots: Musical-theater audiences will go along with pretty much anything, so the story of a child who becomes possessed after eating the fruitcake from hell — a literal description — is not particularly far-fetched.
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I made a note to buy a cake for my parents — immigrants from India and Kenya who grew up with homemade fruitcake as a seasonal luxury — so we can slice into it as we celebrate our first Christmas together in California.
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While neighbors employed the technique in meat dishes, as well as in the molasses-colored fruitcake known as black cake, in Mr. Williams's vegetarian household, it was often used to perk up the taste of seitan, a meat substitute he made from scratch.
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"With just two weeks to go on the conservation of the Cape Adare artefacts, finding such a perfectly preserved fruitcake in amongst the last handful of unidentified and severely corroded tins was quite a surprise," noted AHT program manager Lizzie Meek in a statement.
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I would shed the safety blanket of my cologne of choice, and don the chrysalis of these sugary sweet, floral fragrances in order to emerge as a radiant feminine butterfly with a posse of libidinous gentleman following in the wake of my fruitcake-esque scent.
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Snacks like pigs in blankets and Christmas cookies will be served with seasonal drinks, including a Tom & Jerry, hot chocolate martini and a fruitcake old-fashioned: Good Story, Arlo Hudson Square rooftop, 231 Hudson Street (Renwick Street), 212-342-7000, arlohotels.com/new-york/hudson-square.
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The season of 2-hour airport security lines, traffic jams with a car full of kids, and that annual reminder that yes, fruitcake is TSA-approved, but that gravy in your carry-on (looking at you, Chrissy Teigen) is more than 3.4 fluid ounces.
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Back at home, my daughter would rather color than help with the fruitcake so I measure, chop and mix myself, listening to the house as I do, the low noise of the TV in the family room, my mother's voice, my father vacuuming my old bedroom upstairs.
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Period dishes, including cabbage and prune tartlets, salt cod-potato balls, seed cakes and Martha Washington's Great Cake, a kind of fruitcake soaked in spirits with white icing, will be served with hard and nonalcoholic cider and a shrub: "A Culinary Celebration of America's Founding Mothers," Jan.
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According to legal docs, the synth rock trio -- made up of Schneider, Noah Brodie and Dan Marshall -- dropped "Destination ... Christmas!" in 2010, stocked with nontraditional yuletide gems like "Fruitcake" and "Christmas Conga (Jungle Bells)" that led it to debut at #13 on the Billboard Comedy Album Chart.
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Then, starting in 1962, he became a columnist for The Times and its news service, eventually composing nearly 5,000 "Observer" commentaries — 3.7 million insightful words on the news of the day — often laced with invented characters and dialogue, on an array of subjects including dreaded Christmas fruitcake and women's shoulder pads.
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"If you've spent time baking your favorite Christmas cookies, fruitcake, pie or other holiday treats, you can bring these sweets and other food items with you when you fly," they write, pointing out that as long as the food item is solid, it's safe to pack it in your carry-on luggage.
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As part of the U.K.'s weekend-long celebration of Queen Elizabeth II's birthday, Clarence House, the residence of Prince Charles and wife Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, shared the recipe for a fruitcake being served at the Big Lunch, a charity event hosted by the Prince of Wales in Gloucester today.
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Worsley then reimagines their 1840 nuptials, devised as the P.R. coup of the century — the better to herald the modern constitutional monarchy — down to Victoria's white wedding dress, which popularized the color for brides, and a breakfast feast resplendent with skinned hares, taxidermied pigeons (adorning pigeon pies) and a 300-pound fruitcake.
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A fruitcake from the 2011 nuptials of Prince William and Kate Middleton will also be up for sale and comes with a salutation card reading, "With best wishes from TRH The Prince of Wales and The Duchess of Cornwall in celebration of the wedding of TRH The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge," according to Reuters.
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Despite this narrowness of vision, the book is a delightfully rich fruitcake and an old-fashioned pleasure to read; its plot is an intricate set of intersecting mechanisms and locks and keys, which, when they finally all fall into place, provide the reader with the gawping satisfaction of having been well and truly fooled.
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"The book is a delightfully rich fruitcake and an old-fashioned pleasure to read; its plot is an intricate set of intersecting mechanisms and locks and keys, which, when they finally all fall into place, provide the reader with the gawping satisfaction of having been well and truly fooled," Dominic Dromgoole writes in his review.
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Perhaps that's why so many of the critics who documented her rise in the late 80s/early 90s were prone to couching Amos' piano-jamming sex-positive genius in terms of madness: she was "100 percent crazy"; a "weird chick"; a "Grade A, Class One, Turbo-driven Fruitcake", not unlike the Bob's Burgers parody of her from a few years back.
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Claire Ptak, who is charged with making a lemon elderflower cake for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, whips up something for T. Here's yet another reason to be bummed that you didn't receive an invitation to this weekend's Royal Wedding: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have decided not to serve fruitcake, as is tradition, and instead, to treat guests to a lemon elderflower cake.
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QB: JEEP STREET MEAT FB: VOLKSWAGEN TUNA RB: TEMPO BIG MAC C: LINCOLN BEANS RG: CUTLASS SALAMI LG: CHEVETTE CRAWFISH PIE RT: SAFARI SAUSAGE LT: MUSTANG GUACAMOLE TE: MERCURY CHIPOTLE WR: HONDA LASAGNA WR: MONTEGO SHRIMP DT: OMEGA LO MEIN DT: SIERRA CONCH DE: BMW ADULT MILKSHAKE DE: BUICK FRUITCAKE MLB: CHEVY CHORIZO SLB: FORD STRYCHNINE WLB: THUNDERBIRD MCDOUBLE SS: BENTLEY KOMBUCHA FS: FIAT TARATUFFOLI DB: MONTE CARLO PEACHES DB: SILVERADO ALFREDO P: SATURN PISTACHIO K: PEUGEOT PAELLA LS: WRANGLER ELK STEAK Who will coach this swarthy cadre of brigands?
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