"In the Jewish religion, we call that a 'shadchan' – a matchmaker," added Steiner.
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Some engage in it as a profession and charge a fee for their services. Usually a professional matchmaker is called a shadchan, but anyone who makes a shidduch is considered the shadchan for it. After the match has been proposed, the prospective partners meet a number of times to gain a sense of whether they are right for one another. The number of dates prior to announcing an engagement may vary by community.
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Those who support marriage by shidduch believe that it complies with traditional Judaism's outlook on Tzniut, modest behaviour in relations between men and women,"we abstain from touching before marriage." and prevents promiscuity. It may also be helpful in small Jewish communities where meeting prospective marriage partners is limited, and this gives them access to a broader spectrum of potential candidates. If the shidduch does not work out, then usually the shadchan is contacted and it is he/she that tells the other side that it will not be going ahead. If the shidduch works out then the couple inform the shadchan of its success.
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Students sought after his advice in these areas. It was said that he was "the greatest and most legendary shadchan" and that "he was the wisest of men." On April 27, 2020, after a month long battle with COVID-19, Rabbi Jacobs died in Lakewood. He is survived by children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.
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Rema on Shulchan Aruch ad. loc. In Kiddushin 41a states that a man should not marry a woman he has not seen, lest he come to violate "love your neighbour as yourself". The etymology of the words "shidduch" and "shadchan" is uncertain. The medieval rabbi Nissim of Gerona (commonly called Ran) traces it back to the Aramaic word for "calm" (cf.
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The local matchmaker (shadchan), Reb Kalman arranges a match for the daughter of a wealthy client, Reb Pinchas. The daughter is already romantically linked with her French teacher, Max. He arranges to show up in Kuni Lemel's place, disguised as Kuni Lemel, so he can marry Ganor. Confusion ensues as both Max and Kuni Lemel show up to court Ganor.
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Rabbi Rosenstain was born in Uzvent, Lithuania in 1881. As a teenage student, he studied in the Telshe Yeshiva under Rabbi Shimon Shkop. Rabbi Rosenshtain's mother was the shadchan (matchmaker) between their next door neighbor and R' Yerucham Levovitz, who would later become the mashgiach in the Mir Yeshiva. At age nineteen, Moshe came home from yeshiva for Pesach and met R' Yerucham, with whom he became very close to in the ensuing weeks and months.
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After the reading, the mothers of the future bride and groom break a plate. Today, some sign the contract on the day of the wedding, some do it as an earlier ceremony, and some do not do it at all. In Haredi communities, marriages may be arranged by the parents of the prospective bride and groom, who may arrange a shidduch by engaging a professional match-maker (shadchan) who finds and introduces the prospective bride and groom and receives a fee for his or her services. The young couple is not forced to marry if either does not accept the other.
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